David Ngiau Deputy Sports Editor david@mediacorp.com.sg
I FIND myself actually looking forward to headlines, puns and jokes that are so bad that you cringe.
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So do most of you, I suspect. You don't soon forget those headlines and the irritation factor does work. And we keep reading.
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Earlier this week I came across a headline in one of London's many free newspapers available at the tube stations that was so horrible that I had to share it with as many friends as I could, much to their irritation.
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Now, I'd like to share it with you.
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Beleaguered Tottenham Hotspur had just thrown away a lead and lost 2-1 to Blackburn. "Spurs left Juande-ring how they lost the plot," screamed one headline.
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Ah, yes, I can still hear the groans. But wait, there's more.
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Not so bad was this one from The Sun on Wednesday, "Juande at a time".
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The British tabloids are also particularly fond of using players' nicknames, to disastrous effect. Yakubu helped Middlesbrough to a win at Derby earlier this week, and one headline read: "Rams lock horns but Yak wins it." And from Thursday's Mirror, looking ahead to Saturday's massive clash between Arsenal and Manchester United: "High Roon for Wayne."
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Two of the worst Rooney headlines from the past few years: "Roo can bank on me, boss" and "Many Happy Rooturns".
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A few years ago, Holland coach Marco van Basten took Chelsea's Jose Mourinho to task over his treatment of winger Arjen Robben. The headline in The Sun: "Basten's blasten for Jose".
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Also from that same tabloid: about two years ago: "You're a Mour-on, Jose".
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Yes, I actually had those old headlines written down somewhere, so bad were they that I never wanted to let myself forget them. But I'm wondering how many of you out there feel the same way?
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Don't be shy, let us know. Especially if you see a boring headline in our sports pages and think you could do much better.
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There are limits, of course. Headlines like "Roo can bank on me, boss" are fine in other papers but not here.
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A couple of years back, when United signed Dong Fangzhuo and Nicky Butt was upset with not getting enough first-team action, I suggested to the editor a cheeky headline.
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It never saw print and I leave it to your imagination what I had conjured up. It was not particularly tasteful, but it was good for a laugh. So even if your headline suggestion is a bit off colour, send that in too, we'd like to hear from you.
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It's fine to stray offside once in a while — it keeps the defenders of standards on their toes.
